Boudoir and Sexuality

Why is Boudoir so important to our sexuality?

Boudoir is a magical experience, it’s really important for women to be able to connect with their erotic imagination in a way that is not about anyone else, meaning they are not activated by other person but they are able to actually tap into their erotic nature on their own.

It is important to us to know ourselves in our erotic nature in a way that it seems familiar so that we are in erotic situations with other people, that the veil between our time alone and our intimate time with someone else is very thin, meaning we are able to show up in our authentic nature in the presence of someone else, and it’s really important that we can do that on our own so that it feels like second nature when another person is there.

Knowing our body is key

When we are alone just with ourselves whether is through self pleasure, or whether is through trying on lingerie to see what looks nice on us or what we feel most comfortable in, those will be alone kind of experiences, meaning it’s very important that we know our body, it’s important that we feel confident in our body, it’s important that we know where our erogenous zones are, and what turns us on and what makes us feel sexy and it’s important to do that by yourself so that when you are with your partner it’s really natural, it’s who you really are, and the more intimate you can show up in your authentic self with your partner the more ecstatic the pleasure you will experience and I feel boudoir is one of the ways that helps us see ourselves as erotic beings. Often is one thing to feel pleasure in our bodies is another thing to have an image that we can connect to so we see ourselves through a different lens. It helps with our imagination piece, it helps our partner with how they see us, most of us have other roles, we are moms, we are working women, we are doing all sort of other things that maybe isn’t so sexy, and we are in real relationships and we are having real dynamics with our partners, and so for them to be able to see us also in a way in which we find sexy is so important.

I really believe the more intimately we know ourselves and the more comfortable we are in our skin and in playing into our intimacy with another partner the deeper the pleasure we are going to experience. When people are feeling insecure about their body, when they are feeling insecure with their partner, when they are feeling awkward because they are not used to being in sexy poses, but once those become more familiar then that translate into intimate experience with other people. The comfort level, the ease at which they portray themselves in a seductive manner it doesn’t then seems strange because they are practicing it in boudoir.

Accepting ourselves at all phases

I did boudoir first after my second child and it was a goal of mine to feel really confident and secure in my body having given all the changes I went through, giving birth, breast feeding, and having my body change, and to embrace the new way in which I was showing up in my beautiful gifted body after given birth. It was important for me to see myself in a way that it was soft and feminine and sexy still to remember that part of me, because as we have children that doesn’t go away it just changes form until you are comfortable with the way it is now, and it was really important to me to see myself in a beautiful lit bedroom, being seductive with who I was in that time of my life, not who I was when I was 18 and I hear a lot of that, I should have taken pictures when my body looked like this or like that, which really misses the point, the point is to accept yourself in all phases and to see yourself as an erotic being throughout a wide range of time in your life, and I think that is why I keep going back. I just had a birthday and am in my mid 40’s now and of course my body is maturing and changing so is my erotic imagination, the kinds of play that I like having in my love life are different now than they were the last time I did boudoir , so I am communicating that different, in a way in which my body moves, in the way in which I choose what I want wear during the shoot is different and maybe how I want to share it at this point in my life and who I want to share it with has probably changed, so I think it’s important to continue  reevaluating where I am at this point in my life, how can I authentically communicate my sensual sexuality then have that reframed through and image back to you.

Boudoir, Body Image and Happiness

I was a eating disorder specialist before I did intimacy work and I did a lot of support with woman around feeling into their bodies and really looking at health and wellness and overall happiness and the body they were in. A good photographer is going to capture the light and the essence of the physical form, the energy of their subject and it doesn’t need to be about the ideal body type with everything you think that is, or not having any cellulite or no wrinkles that is not what is about because the way in which they will capture it will be so beautifully lit from the inside and you feel something emotionally and so it is not like a changing room where you are trying a bikini and you don’t like your body, is not that experience, is the experience of seeing yourself in a way in which you don’t normally do cause there is no other place where you will see yourself the way that you will having done boudoir with a professional photographer, It just doesn’t exist. We can’t take pictures like that, but is such a beautiful gift to give to yourself really! and then to share with your partner or loved one to keep so that you are reminded on days that you don’t feel that great of how you felt then or what that makes you feel like looking at the pictures 

NOTE: You can find more about Dr. Anne Ridley and her erotic store at www.anneridley.com